I got this miter on my head
and a pedophile cabinet underneath my bed
my boys were spreading the love a bit too far
with more than their hand in the cookie jar
(well I'd go into more details but my nickname is Eminence)

It all started with the Boston Globe
like lice crawling up and down my robe
like pack of wolves leading my flock
till that collection take began to drop
(bet you thought I was gonna choose another rhyme for flock.....pack of heathens)

They say I covered it up and passed 'em around
from kid to kid and town to town
but what's a poor fisher of men to do
when it's below the belt....eschew eschew
(that means "avoid" for all you illiterate Protestants out there)

Geoghan and Shanley and Birmingham
who's got time to give a damn
turn the other cheek you gay little kid
I bet that's exactly what you did
(say 2 hail mary's and write a check....it'll make you feel better...trust me)

So they finally forced me to resign
but the Holy Father called just in time
before the DA could come for me
I got me a job with the Holy See
(nice work if you can get it...great benefits)

From allowing my poor priests to grope
to casting a vote to elect the pope
just keep your mouth and your eyes shut
is this a great country or what
(I refer of course the the Vatican....the US.....well she sucks)

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